Saturn and the Catalonian

Only Saturn can calm Life's shifting sands
long enough to uncover my Catalonian
with jewel-eyes plucked from the Mediterranean
who left like a lover, though always a friend.
Sparkle-eyed beauty of years past -
I though passion too fleeting to last
after years of friendship only.
Tell me why I feel so lonely
without the warmth of ancient fire
that burns with much more than desire
more than lust, much more than greed?
I find his shadow in many deed, a seed
I didn't want planted without me
across the vast grey didtant sea
in a surrealist home I've never known
so very far from my own.

Saturn reveals the turning points in life.
Includes my fears of 17, confusion in strife.
The one who wears the Crown of Aragon
could not convince my heart to be torn
away to his beloved home, and beyond...
Back then a year seemed impossibly long,
and now it passes to fast to grasp!
Across the sea, too far to travel -
Oh, inner strife and fear does now unravel
the decade like your blinking eyes
holding back, unable to lie.
My heart-star about to explode
in realizing I couldn't wait to be old.

And now I am aged and more awake.
I stay in one place, I live on a lake
tending to those who have filled this decade.
Many promises and memories we've made,
together we've weathered such violent storms,
managed to build a loving home and grow
into something not easily torn apart -
intertwined in time, soul, child, heart...
But Saturn is mischevious mystery,
testiing each detail of personal history
So I found my friend once again!
Successful and happy he's been!
I can't help but share on that positivity,
let it penetrate and inspire me,
let it add to my eternal fire of Hope,
turning it into words, clay and color, to cope
with the emotions that take over me
when I think of what could now be
if I let him sail my heart across that sea,
knowing it would never truly leave!
I'd have had no choice but to chase after it -
leading me to a place I'll not ever get
to now.